We have all heard the term and many have probably dealt with it to one extreme or another. However, for me, my four older kids were relatively calm with pleasant demeanor. (Well, Talon was a bit rough as a baby and toddler and I am trying to remember if we really actually got too bad.) Now, that's not to say that we didn't have our tantrums to deal with or some very frustrating situations...but the others were fairly easy to handle.
Enter Cash...my cute and last little guy. As a baby I would call him "Average". He was not too bad or colicky like I know some can be, nor was he as quiet, calm, cuddly and pleasant as my others. He was a just a normal, regular baby. He has always been a bit strong willed and a very BUSY little baby boy and toddler. Cash is also a bit doted on...with four older sibling that just love him to pieces and a mom who tends to "give in" more than usual, the kid pretty much gets what he wants...which doesn't help the situation!
With my others I could take them to a movie or sit through a nice lunch at a very young age without any disruption....not Cash. He is too busy, and too noisy and now we have hit that dreaded, infamous stage (hopefully it's just a stage) that we all call, "THE TERRIBLE TWOS"! Combine that with an already VERY stubborn, doted on, little boy and let's just say life hasn't been easy in the Fullmer household....at least for me!
What makes the tantrums worse is the fact that he has a very, VERY high pitched scream! When he cries, when he's frustrated and sometimes, I'm sure, just for pure fun and torture it is exactly that...TORTURE! It can be hard to handle. I try to stand my ground, stay tough and not give in, but sometimes I just want the screaming to end and give in to whatever it is he wants. Mistake #1, I'm sure!
He tends to use this scream in public and have his fits in public sometimes also. It is so hard and embarrassing. I have had a couple of women roll their eyes, do the "Oh my gosh!" giving me their glares and one lady even threatened to get the manager in a movie theater (at this time he was 10 months old and just making baby noises, not even crying)...come on really? If he's being disruptive then ask me to leave nicely, which was what I was going to do anyway, but don't threaten me with the manager! I just want to say to those women, "You obviously don't have kids!"
I guess, I am really just asking for tips. What do I do and how can I handle this better? How can I teach him to stop screaming like that? I have put him in his crib when he has the tantrums, I have tried to reason with him calmly. I can just feel my anxiety peaking and that is NEVER a good thing. I am also so worried about leaving him when we go on our trip in May. I am so grateful for those who have agreed to watch him for us and I just don't want them to have a hard time with him. I am so scared and feel so bad if he is difficult to handle....which is adding to the anxiety! Right now, I guess that is my biggest concern, leaving him and making others deal with his tantrums and screams. I have great family and I will owe them HUGE, I know. I really just don't want him to be hard for them. Let's just say some big tears were shed last night over this.
So, okay...I have vented, shared my concern and would love any advice or encouragement. Who said parenting would be easy? I would have to say it is definitely the hardest, yet most rewarding thing I have ever done. We love our little Cashy. He has brought us joy and made our family complete. He also has so many cute moments...which is a good thing because that is his saving grace...and I don't regret our decision to have him. I just want to learn how to deal with his strong personality. I have asked myself, "why couldn't we end it with a great, calm, super happy and easy baby?" then the answer comes pretty quickly, "Oh I know why, because then I would probably want another one. At least with him, I KNOW for a fact that I am DONE!!! " :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Terrible Twos
Posted by Kim and Chet at 9:49 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Loved this post!!!! We all just need to vent it out sometimes! I think the hard part for you is that you had some nice, calm children first, and know the difference! None of my 3 would ever sit through a movie at a young age, or give me a nice quiet lunch out. So..I guess I don't know what that's like, so I don't expect it when I try.
You are a wonderful mom, and you obviously know the mistakes you might be making...(like you said...giving into him..especially in public, etc.) So just try harder to be consistent. Believe me, I know it's SOOOOOOO hard to do, especially in public! However, I have more respect for ANY mom I see putting their screaming child in time-out, in the corner of wal-mart, then someone who is too embarassed by the fit, and gives in when they start screaming! I am nowhere near a perfect mother, and have lost my patience on numerous accounts, but I think because I AM a mom, I totally understand the frustration. Unfortunately there is no easy answer. Just try to be consistent. Also, this is mean, but we do hot sauce around our house, for screaming, naughty words, or being mouthy. I've only tried to once to Madison, (I only gave her a dab from my finger, and then some water so it wasn't miserable, but it wasn't comfortable either.)Anyway, I know she understood that she was in trouble for screaming and yelling, and hopefully I can just "Threaten" it next time and it will work. You could maybe try that and see if he responds to that instead of time-outs??? I sound so mean, but I like hot-sauce because I don't feel like I have to lose my temper (like spanking) and sometimes it speaks louder than time-outs. Just an idea. Anyway, I know this is becoming a novel, but the last thing I wanted to say was DON'T WORRY about your trip! Everybody helping with Cash has had children. They've ALL done the terrible two's before. They can handle it!!! Just relax and have fun. Remember...it's just a stage...he'll learn how to communicate better soon and won't throw so many tantrums. Love ya!!!!
Ear plugs for the whole family?
Post a Comment