Sitting in my kitchen with Cash, playing blocks and listening to my favorite Neil Diamond tunes. Track #14 pulls up and "September Morn" begins to echo through the room. The song doesn't help what is already a melancholy mood. The tears begin to fall and my heart, once again, begins to ache.
You see, Neil Diamond was my mom's very favorite music artist. One of her favorite songs was "September Morn" and here it was on a September morning that she was born. That she was married. That she died.
Even though the words of the song are meant for lovers the first verse has it's own special meaning to me.
Stay for just a while
Stay, and let me look at you
It's been so long, I hardly knew you
Standing in the door
Stay with me a while
I only want to talk to you
We've traveled halfway 'round the world
To find ourselves again
September morn
Stay, and let me look at you
It's been so long, I hardly knew you
Standing in the door
Stay with me a while
I only want to talk to you
We've traveled halfway 'round the world
To find ourselves again
September morn
September 14, 1951 My mom came into this world and blessed so many lives in 35 short years. She married my dad in the Salt Lake Temple on September 10th, which was also the day that she was buried, and died in a car accident on September 5, 1987. I guess the song could even be interpreted as "September 'Mourn'."Usually, when the anniversary of her death rolls around each year I really do..okay. This year however, it has hit me really hard. I can't stop crying and I can't help wishing she was still here. Always wondering how my life would be different if she were. Maybe it's because I am now35, (almost 36) the same age she was when she died, and I realize how young she really was.
I miss her. I miss everything about her and what is even more difficult is the fact that I am having a hard time recalling her voice. I can still, however, remember her "smell"... Her perfume, her gum. I hope that never leaves me.
(Grandma and Mom)She was an incredible person. The glue in the Diamse family, in MY own family. I dream of her and each time I do I spend the entire day playing that dream over and over in my head, trying to hold on to her image and her voice for as long as I can.
I don't mean for this post to be so depressing, but I really need to express my feelings on this particular September morning....what would have been her 59th birthday. (Darn you Neil!)
Happy Birthday Mom....with love ALWAYS!
(Mom and Tracy)
5 comments:
Oh Kim, such a sweet post. I wish I could have known your mom, she seems like such an amazing lady! I can see how hard September would be - it's such a melancholy month anyway. Thanks for sharing those beautiful pictures. Love you!
Thanks for making me tear up. What a sweet post. I know that life just doesn't seem fair sometimes. I bet your mom is so proud of you! Just look at everything you've done! Won't that be great when you get to be together again! Hang in there!
What a great tribute! She'd be so happy at the person you are today, I just know it.
p.s. You look SO much like her in that second to last pic! Holy cow!!!
I have the chills. What a sweet post. She really was so young. How sad. What a sweet tribute to her though. Made me cry!
That's a great post. I am glad you could write it down. I still remember her voice calling you Kimmi. That is actually the first thing I think about when I think of her voice. She called you a lot, kind of like I do with my girls. You were the one she asked for help. Now you are the glue Kim.
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