Birthdays and Anniversaries!

Let me just preface this post by saying that this blog is also intended to be my journal. So, I am more or less just expressing some thoughts and feelings that I have had these last few days and I'm sorry if you get bored. Feel free to just skim through if you'd like.

September is quite the month for birthdays and anniversaries. It's a month that has both great things I like to celebrate and other anniversaries I'd prefer not to think about. and being the hormonal, moody, pregnant lady that I am I felt a bit emotional this last week.

Starting with some of the fun things! Yesterday the gals took Jessica to lunch for her birthday...if you like soup and salad Zupa's is the place! Then today Makayla had her birthday party with her friends at Chuck E. Cheeses. Who doesn't like Chucky's right? I was just too exhausted to try and plan one here at the house with entertainment and all. It was SO worth paying someone else to do it! I looked and priced EVERYWHERE and really Chucky's was the most reasonable and I figured most kids would be plenty entertained there.

Also, today is an anniversary. Not particularly one to celebrate but one I am mindful of every year. It's been 21 years today since my mom was taken from us. Sometimes it seems like it's been forever and other times it feels like it hasn't been that long at all. Usually I do pretty well on this day, emotionally. This year has been particularly rough though. I think it has a lot to do with being pregnant and being reminded that here I am going through something so wonderful and tough, at times, and really want my mom to be here to share in it and to talk to. There is no doubt in my mind that she is there during that moment when my babies are born and that until then they are in her special care. But it doesn't replace the emptiness I feel sometimes and knowing how much she would've loved to spoil her grandkids. I'd give anything for those moments with her. Especially when I watch other's or hear them talk about shopping for baby things with their mom's or doing fun things like that. I wish like crazy Chet and the kids could have known her. She was so fun and so sweet. I remember all of my friends telling me how pretty she was and how I was so lucky that I had such a "cool mom". In some small ways I used to get embarrassed by it and just roll my eyes like "yeah, yeah" because we all know that, especially as teenagers, your parents were NEVER cool! But deep down I had a sense of pride in her and the fact that she was so fun to be around. I'm so glad she was the way she was and that she was my mom.

I am so grateful for the gospel and the knowledge that I have of the plan of salvation. Knowing that I will see her again and being able to feel her presence at certain times has brought comfort and peace. I can only live my life in a way that I hope will make her proud and allow me to see her again when that time comes. On a more positive note, 10 years ago tonight I went into labor with my baby girl, Makayla. I thought of mom during this time and thought that maybe this was her way of making a tragic day into positive memories instead of bad ones. Also, 18 years ago on this day my big brother, Tracy, reported to the MTC to serve his mission in the Philippines! Coincidence? Hmm not so sure. (He's so cute he called me today to see how I was holding up with it being the "icky" date) My mom and dad's anniversary is Sept. 10th, which is also the day that we buried her and her birthday is on Sept. 14th. She would be turning 57 this year. WOW! That is so hard to imagine...my mom at 57!

Now that the depressing part is over and I've been able to shed a few tears, We're on to more fun! Tomorrow we celebrate birthdays of two pretty ladies, Shareen and Makayla. I swear, even still, that Makayla should have gone to Shareen instead b/c they are way to much alike but I'm glad she came to us...a very scary 5 weeks early...but here she is well and fine with the sweetest spirit in the world! Don't let that fool you because she can put on a mean attitude when she wants and that girl can SCREAM! It's also been one year ago tomorrow that my maternal Grandpa passed away. Now, that seems to have only happened yesterday. I can't help but be amazed how it was almost 20 years ago to the day that he passed away after his daughter did.

We also have more birthdays this month and I know I haven't done shout outs in the past but this month I'm going to. Apologies to those who had birthdays in the months of January through August. I will include you each month from here on out! :)

Happy Birthday this month to...

Jessica

Shareen and Makayla
(I will include recent pics of their bday tomorrow...I know, like you would even want to read another post after reading this long one!)

To my beautiful mom (of whom I cannot get a pic of on here b/c my scanner won't work...grrr!) I love and miss you!

Lindsay

and last but not least...Beau!

(I hope I didn't miss anyone but with our family growing as quickly as it is it's hard to keep track...especially of all the tiny tots. My apologies if I did!)

here is a quick slide show of Makayla's bday party tonight at Chucky's!